Am I contagious?

A perhaps somewhat topical question given the events that continue to play out around us, it is one that in this post I am going to suggest we should be asking ourselves. Before you groan at the thought of yet another blog post on the pandemic, rest assured that I am not going to mention the ‘C’ word.

A budding area of research in the last couple of decades has examined the role of emotions in leadership. A particular topic that researchers have considered is the phenomenon of emotional contagion – the idea that our moods can be transferred to those around us.

Various scholars (e.g. Sigal Barsade) have found that through mimicry of facial expressions, body language and tone of voice, our mood can be picked up by others around us. Further, the mirror neuron (of which we have a fair few in our brain) is designed to do exactly what it says on the tin – mirror others and their emotions.

We all have a little yellow person in our lives - that one who perks up any room they come into

Why does this matter?

It matters because the effects of positive emotion are hugely beneficial and the effects of negative emotion can be hugely damaging. We know that positive emotions can broaden our thinking and awareness, with research reporting that super useful things to organisations – like creativity, curiosity, performance and good team dynamics – are all enhanced when we are in a more positive frame of mind (see Shawn Achor’s TED talk on the Happiness Advantage – one of my all time favourites).

Negative emotions, on the other hand, tend to close down our thinking – usually taking us to the basics of fight or flight reactions – in response to the thing that has triggered our negativity. Translated into the workplace, this means a deficit of all of those things just mentioned – less creativity, curiosity… and all the rest. And in the context of leading a team, this can have serious implications for effectiveness. 

What should you do?

Firstly, try to be more emotionally self-aware; understanding your emotions and recognising what you’re feeling means you know when you need to take steps to limiting their negative impact. Then, pay attention to how you express them. Most importantly, think about your body language - since most of the messages we transmit about how we’re feeling are non-verbal. Then take steps to change that in a situation where you know you need your team to be on point. In other words: fake it.  

Final thoughts

I know I promised not to mention the pandemic, however perhaps you will allow me to make just one small reference to it as I close. If you find yourself struggling with your emotion in a given moment – one strategy could be to draw on the Hands, Face, Space government guidance that I am sure will remain  forever etched in our minds.

Hands – wash your hands of the emotion you are feeling – you are in control of your emotions, not the other way around.

Face – the way we outwardly convey emotion is perceived by those around us. So if you want to make sure you don’t spread negative emotion – fake it ‘til you make it with your face and your tone.

Space – if you know you struggle with faking it – remove yourself from the situation. Give your team space rather than potentially spreading your negativity on them.

Happy spreading!

Managing employees with career regret

What if someone in your organisation was harbouring a secret?

…and what if that secret was that they felt their younger self had chosen the wrong occupation and they now felt resentful and stuck in a career they invested years in building?

‘Career’ is one area of life where individuals have the greatest regrets. Yet most of us wouldn’t feel comfortable telling our boss how much we wish we’d chosen something different.

My recent research among healthcare professionals confirms that we would be right to worry that it reflected on our levels of commitment to the job – those who have occupational regret are likely to be less emotionally attached to their occupation.

This is problematic for organisations because lower commitment leads to withdrawal behaviours including low motivation, disengagement and absenteeism.

Unlike regrets about past events or regrets for something not done, regret about the decision to enter an occupation is especially painful because it remains current.

We have to ‘live’ it and often feel stuck. The money, time and effort invested into a career path can be a barrier to making a job change. It can also be difficult to let go of the status attached to an established career and start from scratch. In our research 62% of our sample felt they had put too much into their career path to consider changing.

We also found that negative comparisons were central to career regret. Our study asked people to ‘rate’ their career choice against another profession. Those who chose to compare with a profession that they thought was ‘better’ than their own were more likely to feel regret about their own choice.

So how does this inform how HR teams should respond if an employee lets their manager know how they really feel?

Firstly, although it may seem counter-intuitive, their honesty should be welcomed. Discretionary effort diminishes with lower commitment. An individual’s poor performance can be disruptive for teams, and there can be no solution if managers don’t really understand the cause.

Coaching can put the individual in a more positive frame of mind. Rather than comparing their choice with ‘what might have been’, help them to focus on what they have gained through their career, the skills developed and contacts made.

Based on that knowledge it may be possible to plan lateral moves and other opportunities to build on the skills they most value. That enables the organisation to continue to gain from the employee’s contribution and the employee to feel less ‘stuck’ because they are moving in a direction they feel better suited to.

HR practices that help to reveal true passions and strengths improve the deployment of people into jobs where their passions are fulfilled and their talents are better used.

This is aligned with a positive psychology approach to career development, strengths-based talent management rather than a gap approach focused on the remediation of ‘development needs’.

Looking after the needs of an employee with a hidden career regret may soon become even more of a necessity. While we cannot accurately forecast the effect of technologies such as robotics and artificial intelligence on work we know that they will be disruptive.

Some estimates suggest that two billion jobs will be lost to AI over the next decade, many of them roles that organisations cannot function without in the short term.

HR departments will need to rise to the challenge of keeping these employees motivated and engaged, even though it would be natural for them to regret picking an occupation facing an uncertain future. With our occupations changing underneath our noses, perhaps career regret should no longer be taboo.

­­­­­­A version of this article appeared in HR Magazine on 17 January 2020

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in the Boardroom

Last month, I did an interivew with Eilish Jamieson - Women On Boards Ambassador, Executive Coach, and Portfolio NED. Here’s Eilish’s write up:

We are all aware that as guardian of the boardroom, the NED is there to help ensure good business practice, encourage better governance, improve the bottom line for shareholders, alongside an ever expanding corporate and social accountability agenda.
 
However, it is often the more subtle role of the NED that can differentiate a good one from an excellent one. Managing conflict, reading the room, landing the difficult messages, spotting the unspoken agenda, all requires a strong appreciation of self and others. For a board to be effective, its members must demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence (more commonly referred to as EQ), and a lack of EQ can seriously handicap a board's ability to problem-solve and make informed decisions.

Dr Ali Budjanovcanin is a Work Psychologist and Executive Coach, who lectures on leadership at King’s Business School in London. She has a breadth of experience on how emotions play out in the workplace and is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner who has worked with organisations such as the NHS, the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain, the Church of England, Women in Law London, large law firms, as well as start-ups.
 
In this interview, Ali spoke to us about what EQ is, and why it is important in the boardroom, drawing on evidence from her research and work with leaders across different sectors.

Q: Ali, what exactly is EQ and why it is so important in the workplace and boardroom?  
A: EQ is broadly understood to be the emotional and social skills and abilities that allow us to navigate and successfully overcome day-to-day challenges. It has always been important because organisations have always been made up of people… and people working together inevitably gives rise to interpersonal challenges! What has changed is the degree to which we pay attention to it today. The financial crisis and large corporate failures have contributed to the debate around the quality and diversity of EQ in the boardroom.
 
Q: What role does EQ play in the boardroom setting, and what are the unique challenges presented there?
A: The boardroom, like any other organisational setting, will be beset with challenging interactions. What is particularly noteworthy about the boardroom is that you’re dealing with numerous diverse viewpoints, which can be an asset, but also a challenge. In that context, understanding how to identify and manage your own and others’ emotions can allow you to be more constructive in managing the inevitable conflict arising from multiple agendas. For example, being able to pinpoint where your emotions and others’ are originating from, recognising when decisions are being made that rely too heavily on feeling, or being able to regulate your emotional response, will allow you to participate in more savvy discussion and decision-making. This comes from self- and other-awareness.
 
Another challenge of this particular context is that boards usually come together infrequently. Because of this, you may not have opportunity to get to know and understand your fellow board members quickly enough, potentially leading to a lack of empathy about their position. Empathy is another crucial aspect of emotional intelligence and if you can start to hone your ability in this area then you can start to see things from a variety of angles but also understand how to get others on your side.
 
Q: You have already referenced the limited amount of time a board will come together as being somewhat of a challenge. What practical things can a NED do to address this?
A: When board members do come together it is normally in a time-constrained manner and with the aim of solving tough issues. As such, board meetings can be emotion-laden and conflict-heavy environments. The pressure of having little time together can lead to misunderstandings and assumptions being made. Making the effort to get to know other board members outside of this pressure cooker environment can reap rewards in the longer term and build awareness of their emotional responses and triggers.
 

If you need the board to become quickly aligned around an issue, then drawing on impulse control – or your ability to regulate emotional responses – may be helpful. Using calm statement of fact – that you will ideally have thought through prior to the meeting – can allow you to control your emotions rather than them controlling you. This ensures that the discussion and interaction remain firmly on the goals and not the people discussing them. This speaks to the skill of knowing the type and intensity of emotion that is appropriate for a particular situation and it can work in the opposite way too. Sometimes, selectively drawing on more extreme or negative emotion, when utilised at the right time, can have the effect of giving momentum to a situation – but the emotionally intelligent individual knows not to over-use this tactic.
 
Q: From your experience working with organisations, what are the top tips around EQ you would give to WOB members who are on a board, or looking to join one in the future?
A: An awareness of self is the key starting point to develop one’s EQ. Studies suggest that women do seem to have the edge over men when it comes to EQ, however if you have ever received feedback that you perhaps didn’t read a situation or person very well then that might be an indication that you should consider taking a look at your EQ.
 
These would be my top tips for any board director, no matter how long they have been in the role:

1. Reflect often and skilfully – this can improve self-awareness, which is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. You can carve out time to do this yourself (perhaps after a board meeting) or draw on the skills of a coach. The latter gives you the opportunity to regularly and deliberately reflect, without interruption and with an objective partner. Such reflection can address such questions as: What are your emotional triggers? When do they hinder you? How can you learn to regulate?   

2. Learn to control your assertiveness – in either direction. Knowing when to dial up or down on this skill is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. Practising outside of the boardroom can help you to improve inside of it.

3. Show and practice curiosity – this will help you with building your empathy. Asking questions and showing genuine interest will allow you to understand the true meaning behind people’s perspective. This approach is particularly effective in avoiding ‘them vs us’ standoff situations. “Help me to understand” can be a useful way for the NED to demonstrate their willingness to listen.

4. Find out about your own emotional intelligence – It is actually quite difficult to assess our own EQ and senior leaders should seek out a coach or an independent assessment tool, such as EQi 2.0, to allow them to ascertain their EQ profile, which areas they need to be mindful of and which they can work on. This can be useful at an individual level or can be well timed to occur around a board evaluation where other data should be available to draw on.

5. Recognise the importance of EQ on board composition - When a board is recruiting a new member, emotional intelligence and relationship building skills are as important to vet as subject matter expertise and experience. Some of the biggest board blow-ups I've observed had to do with a board member who was more ego-driven to be a star contributor, or didn't know or respect the difference between their role and the CEO's role, or dug in and refused to budge on a particular issue.

Link to piece here: https://www.womenonboards.net/en-gb/reference-items/resource-centre-externals/eq-in-the-boardroom

“I keep doing this because….”

The ‘career’ is one of the life domains about which we have the most regret. Despite that, many of us remain in undesired occupations, harbouring our dirty secret. We schlep to work then trudge back home, punctuating our struggle with distractions to make it more palatable and justifications that keep us there: I keep doing this so I can go on great holidays; I keep doing this for our beautiful new kitchen; I keep doing this because my parents are proud of what I do.

Yet the niggle just keeps returning.

What I’ve observed when it comes to career inaction is that the “I keep doing this because…” is usually followed by an external motivator… financial reward (or more usually financial traps) and the expectation of others are two I repeatedly hear from those I coach and research. What we know about external motivators is that while they can be very useful for encouraging certain behaviours that lead to desired outcomes (pay rises, promotion etc.), they may not sustain that drive in the long run. And they may not ultimately satisfy us in the ways we are seeking.

(Oh. That’s what that niggle is).

What if you could say “I keep doing this because… it truly excites me”? What if you were driven by the interest, enjoyment and satisfaction inherent in the behaviour or activity you were engaging in? Just putting it out there: you can be.

Once people get past their justifications of why they persist in the struggle, the next hurdle is often: “I keep doing this because… I’m not sure what else I could do”. And this is one of the biggest mistakes of wanting to but not making a career transition. We think we need to have the answer before we take any action, when the reality is, we just need to start doing the doing. Research now shows that action rather than over planning is the strategy that is most likely to help us make a career shift that is sustainable. Testing out possible new careers and pathways can help us to get a realistic job preview, which had we had the first time around, we might not be where we are today. Individuals’ engagement in “provisional trials of possible future selves” or identity play, as Herminia Ibarra[1] calls it, is something a coach can usefully support you in doing, helping to disentangle your responses to this experimentation.

However, it’s important to remember that in the process of changing our career we are also changing ourselves. Our career tends to be such an integral part of who we are that with the pivot in occupation comes an often painful letting go of the way we have spent many years defining ourselves. It doesn’t need to be painful though, if you can start to see how that previous identity was a steppingstone to creating your new one.

We often look back mourning our old selves, when the reality is that the path that led to where we are is part of the story of who we will be next

Oh, and if you ever start to feel bad about your dirty little secret, then know you’re in good company, even JLo has regrets about her work[2].

——

[1] Ibarra, H., & Petriglieri, J. L. (2010). Identity work and play. Journal of Organizational Change Management, 23(1), 10-25.

[2]https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/a30527586/jennifer-lopez-career-regret/

#BeingHuman

Say the phrase “emotions in the workplace”, ask people what they think of and you will get all sorts of replies. However, those responses tend to have one thing in common – for most people, it has negative connotations. This is because we tend to think of extremes (anger, hysteria), and a lack of control around their expression, when we think of emotions in a work context. Added to this, the myth of rationality means that we assume a well-functioning and effective organisation is one that is devoid of emotion. This is not so. 

I have recently spoken at two events - one for DE Consult, the other for City Women Network & alumni of King’s College London - and while the emphasis of each talk was slightly different, the underlying message was the same: emotions are a normal part of human functioning; instead of trying to banish them from the workplace, why not get better at understanding and harnessing them?

This really speaks to the concept of emotional intelligence - the emotional and social skills and abilities that enable us to effectively navigate life’s (and the workplace’s) ups and downs. As leaders, it is especially important that we are able to effectively read, interpret and respond to the emotions that arise during the course of the working day as it has huge implications for how we relate to others, but also whether we can get them to thrive. Emotional intelligence accounts for between 27% and 45% of the variance in job performance (Stein & Book 2011), so it’s worth getting right. Research also shows that emotional intelligence is highly linked to transformational leadership (MHS Assessments) - a style that represents leaders who are engaged and harness employee potential to fuel the growth of an organisation and its employees. If nothing else, we should see emotions as another data point for leaders, signalling something about what’s going on in the environment and providing a barometer in a given situation.  

The reality is, we cannot detach our emotions before we go to work. It is also a reality that many of the processes in which we engage during our working day, especially as leaders, have emotions at their heart. Given that emotions are inevitable, ‘undetachable’ and potentially useful to leaders, why not become better at using them?

 #BeingHuman #EmotionalIntelligence #Emotions

Women In Business event, King’s Business School

Photo credit: Nathan Clarke

References

MHS Assessments: https://legacytap.mhs.com/EQi20FAQ.aspx

Stein, S. J., & Book, H. E. (2011). The EQ edge: Emotional intelligence and your success. John Wiley & Sons.